You take me as I am
Into your new scarred hands
and when I run so far away
you always call me back again
into your open arms
not matter what ive done
amazing grace has found me here
because of what you've done, for me

PlanetShakers - Weight of the World

astO loves her friends, bowling, baking, bowling, reading, bowling, writing, bowling, ManUtd, bowling.

Kutless, The Lads, Switchfoot, MercyMe, Stacie Oricco, Avalon, blah blah blah

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Monday, October 31, 2005

I've been listening to this song for a few months now. It's lyrics speak so true of today's culture and habits. Not that I'm preaching or in it anyway. Many things that I see from the sidelines makes me question and wonder. At the end of the day, is it really worth it?

True Love Waits - Souljahz

You've walked this road so many times
And you swore you knew your way
But now you're looking in persuasive eyes
And you don't know what to say
When he tells you he loves you
WHen he tells you he needs you
When he says it feels so right it can't be
When he says it's the right time
That every things gonna be just fine
Still you know where your heart belongs
So believe that

True love waits don't let anyone change your
Look em all straight in the face
And tell em, No matter what I'll remain
the same
Don't waht to be deceived
See I've found the key can't you see that I
believe, I believe
That true love waits for me, waits for me

You've told your self you've been here before
You see her face and then you open the door

Now its up to you so whatcha gonna do?
You love her with a smile then you love her
with a kiss
Some how you both knew that it would come
to this
Is it really worth it?
When she tells you she loves you
When she tells you she needs you
But in your heart you still believe


And true love would say, "I'll meet you there
if you'll wait"
And true love would say, would say,
"If you wait for me I'll wait for you my love,
my love"
Ture love waits and you gotta keep the faith
With God you're gonna stay strong
WIth hope you're gonna carry on


Rainbows still Occur. @5:47 pm

2 more weeks.
Friday, October 28, 2005

2 more weeks to school reopening. Many people are counting down the days before the next semester starts. Which is quite surprising. I remember the days when we wanted the holidays to begin. The 2 month break last semester was different. All the memories of planning Orientation is almost fresh in my mind. Really miss those happy (sometimes dreadful) days. Oh well.

Tomorrow's Saturday. Hmm, let's see what's on my itinerary. Alter my trousers lengths, go down to Pocket Bowl tomorrow morning (which means I can purchase the delicious chocolate tarts), and I think go for a test drive in regards to the CRV. Or should I not go for the test drive? I managed to cover it, but the real test is tomorrow. See if the paint job I did is good enough. Hurhur. *Zips mouth*

Anybody got a good book for me to read?

Rainbows still Occur. @9:57 pm

Keep Your Standards High.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Boo back to you Adrian. And hello Jinghui! I miss you all!
My posts are so long these few days, I'm starting to feel like a long winded grandmother. Well, besides that, there's nothing much for me to do. Just writing and bowling. I came across this poem in a book that I absolutely love. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. If you're in the cycle of endless dating without knowing where your final destination is, read it. [Note from author - Not that I'm in that position. Because to people, I'm not worth dating.] Get to the stores and buy it. The poem maybe written in old style, but get past that. You'll see what I mean.

A Woman's Question - Lena Lathrop

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life-
And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With a reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.
You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be true as God's stars
And as pure as his heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts-
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May.

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life,
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.

I know this poem may be talking about marriage. But doesn't it speaks to dating people as well? Keep your standards high as you consider even the possibility of dating. Because a guy who asks of you to lower it, is not worth your time. To sum it all up, read the book!

Rainbows still Occur. @5:11 pm

Can't get to Sleep.
Monday, October 24, 2005

Slumber doesn't come easily to me now. These days, it's so hard for me to fall asleep. Don't tell me my body clock has altered because its a very drastic alteration. It's almost 2 in the morning and I'm still typing. Last night, I fell asleep at 5am and woke at 830 in the morning. Barely 4 hours of sleep and I had to get ready for my roll offs at noon. As for my ball bag, I took public transport and lugged it on the bus. I left it in the aisle where it proceeded to almost fly when the bus started moving.

Today was a very boring day for me. Not so much in the activities, just that I was seriously knackered. And when I'm knackered, I tend to think too much. Which is hazardous towards my health, because it drives me crazy. Only 8% of things that you worry about in your life are actual.

I've realised that I miss my secondary school friends quite a bit. It started off when I met Terence Lim on the train 2 Mondays ago. Then Justina left a tag on my board. It's amazing how friendships that have been built since Primary school could have been lost in a span of a few months where everyone dispersed into different schools. I miss each and everyone of them and still wish most of them were still in my life. I miss having friends that I could giggle with and share my secrets and have serious talks. If anyone of you do come across this post, I really do miss you all a lot. People like Vanessa, Anna, Farhana, Leng Leng, Sim Yen, Jessica, Rachel, Clarisse, Terence, my Council mates, etc.

Truthfully, I've let go. No more.

On my itunes: Two Beds and a Coffee Machine - Savage Garden

Rainbows still Occur. @1:17 am

Good Morning.
Sunday, October 23, 2005

It's 2.30am in the morning and what a lovely day it is. Alright, not that. It's chilly and still raining. Feels like summer in New Zealand. There's roughly 9 hours to go before roll offs commence in Leisure to measure our current form. Not prepared. Ok, I'm lying. I've got to come up with some creative idea to get my ball bag down to Leisure tomorrow. My good friend has decided to abandon me and game and may not get up in time. Thank you very much man. *Shakes head*

I need to hit the bed soon. If not I would not have any strength to bowl. Sleep is essential, unlike some people I know. *Scowls* Ok, I'm just kidding. If not I'll never get a ride again. On a serious note, I need to get my license!

I read this post of Justina's blog and it's quite interesting.

THERE IS NO GOD. All of the wonders around us are accidental. No almighty hand made a thousand-billion stars. They made themselves.No power keeps them on their steady course. The earth spins itself to keep the oceans from falling off toward the sun. Infants teach themselves to cry when they are hungry or hurt. A small flower invented itself so that we could extract digitalis for sick hearts.
The earth gave itself day and night, tilted itself so that we get seasons. Without the magnetic poles man would be unable to navigate the trackless oceans of water and air, but they just grew there.
How about the sugar thermostat in the pancreas? It maintains a level of sugar in the blood sufficient for energy. Without it, all of us would fall into a coma and die.Why does snow sit on mountain-tops waiting for the warm spring sun to meltit at just the right time for young crops in farms below to drink? A very lovely accident.
The human heart will beat for 70 or 80 years without faltering. How does it get sufficient rest between beats? A kidney will filter poison from the blood, and leave good things alone. How does it know one from the other?Who gave the human tongue flexibility to form words, and a brain tounderstand them, but denied it to all other animals?
Who showed a womb how to take the love of two persons and keep splitting atiny ovum until, in time, a baby would have the proper number of fingers, eyes and ears and hair in the right places, and come into the world when it is strong enough to sustain life?

There is no God?

To each his own I guess. But I won't deny the existence of God in Creation.

Rainbows still Occur. @2:30 am

Aldo Shoes.
Saturday, October 22, 2005

Lads may come and go, but shoes and clothes will always be there. hurhur. Okay, I'm not in the midst of nursing a broken heart so no worries there. But yes, I did embark on a shopping journey with mumsies today. The amount of money she spent on me, I don't want to count but I'm grateful.

I hadn't had new clothes since the start of the year actually. Or shoes. I (or rather Mum) purchased 2 pairs of Aldo Shoes for me, one of which is pictured above, and one that is black with a little kitten heel. I wanted Mary Janes, and the one above, Libi, is sort of like it. I had to be different, wanted to as well. My Mary Janes is going to stand out in the crowd of plain coloured with bows on them, mostly purchased from x:odus and the sale drawer Charles and Keith. Not that their bad shops anyway. Then onto Fila where I managed to find culottes for bowling. And the climax of the day, Esprit! One pair of jeans and shirt. At last, I can finally fit into the anorexic cuts of Esprit. Though I still wear the regular sizes of the British. Maybe I should just move there eh?

Dead tired after that. Sadly mumsies doesn't drive to work already or we could hang out (I use the words loosely) longer. hurhur. 2 hours ago, I was planning to sleep. Somehow, I can't. Not sure why. I want my shoes. Forgot to add that I will only get them this weekend. They have to transfer stock for me from Suntec to Wisma. Oh well.

Someone knock me on the head or give me warm milk so I can hit the bed.
What's playing on my itunes : The Real Me - Jaci Velasquez

Rainbows still Occur. @2:17 am

Friday, October 21, 2005

I think someone should congratulate me on the ability to flood my blog with posts everyday. Countless updates, not that they are worthy of being read anyway. Life and all its wonders. Amazes my ownself on how little I have to write about its wonders. Maybe I should revert back to the reminscing mode I was in and write a long entry tomorrow.

I've got about less than a quarter of an hour to type some load of tosh and see where it leads me. Hmm. *Thinks* Leave my place at 5 and board a 518 to Takashimaya and meet mumsies and then Vickie who has decided to tag along on my shopping journey towards a pair of Mary Janes.

Okay that was a whole lot of tosh and I wasted 3 minutes. Ah! Hopefully mumsies and dad are free tomorrow. Go and test drive the CRV and see if it's cool. Dad mentioned that he won't get the car until one of us, meaning his offsprings, agree to it. Honestly speaking, I still love the IST we have now. Nice, small and compact. But the money we pay for the CRV is more worth it as it's the same amount of installment. Hopefully it's as comfy as the RX 300. hurhur.

Got to leave now. *Sings* Singing Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah to the Lamb! by Salvador. I love their music, the guitars and style, so carribean. Or is it mexican? Or continental? Whatever it is, the music is fab.

Rainbows still Occur. @4:49 pm

New Shoes and Car (maybe)

Am I transparent? Sometimes I think I am. It's either me or them, but somehow I doubt its me because there's still flesh hanging on my bones. I'm currently not going to bother about this now. They might be busy. Something I lost the day school went out for the season. Busyness. No matter.

I may get new shoes tomorrow. Mary Janes! Mum saw some from Elle, so I'm going to have a look at it after mumsies finishes her work. I need one pair of navy blue shorts for bowling too, might psycho mumsies into getting one pair for me. hurhur. I'm only a proud owner of khaki coloured ones which are kind of stained by paint. Design school students can't help getting their clothes dirty. Either by paints, woodshavings or the chemicals in the darkroom. Why else do you think my wardrobe is on a rotating shift? Ok, its not just that to begin with. I don't have much clothes.

Just came home from another bout of bowling. Mumsies have been driving dad nowadays. Dad remarked that the car's getting pretty dirty. I offered to get it cleaned up the next time it's taken. And guess what mum replied?! We may have changed the car by then. Yes! I think they're pretty close to getting the CRV. Mumsies must be in love with it I think. Though I still reckon that's it's a little huge for her. Well, up to the folks.

Friday! Rest day, no bowling. But I want to. Must be obsessed already.

Rainbows still Occur. @2:23 am

Life's Like That
Thursday, October 20, 2005

Alright, I have changed my skin if you hadn't already notice. Which I highly doubt anyone would miss such a change in colour. Time to unleash my writing juices again, after seeing some of my friend's blogs. Their vocabulary is so vast, it puts mine to shame. I used to be quite happy with the way I wrote, but after reading their entries, I dare not write anymore. Until now.

I'm a five step bowler now. Converted yesterday, but I still feel a little weird. As always, I need time to get used to it. Tomorrow night, I will spend time on my footwork. That's the plan.

My family's all asleep. I came home around half twleve and found the family sleeping! I reckon it's pretty early for everyone, because mumsies sleeps late as she's watching the box while my brother's up doing ''gawd knows what''. Actually I think watching the box too, except he's on the phone, the box is just to make background noise. Not really considered watching. Ok, I got to stop rambling. I must be very bored to do so. *Shakes head*

Rainbows still Occur. @1:34 am

New Blogskin
Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A new blogskin beckons. Time for a change. Somewhat sick of the present one, can't eat chocolates because I'm still sick. Waiting for the weather to change so I can bask in the warmth of the sunshine. Haven't had that opportunity for ages because of the constant rain. First time I'm actually decked out in clothes that I would most probably use for the weather in New Zealand in the summer. Shorts and Hooded Sweatshirts to keep warm but cool. Ironic huh? Life's been nothing but sleeping, training and eating during this holidays. School resumes in roughly two to three weeks. Looking forward to it, but not as well. The coming portfolio reviews are something I'm not prepared for. Haven't done a single thing yet! *Panic attack!*

No just kidding. But I got to resume work. And fast.

Rainbows still Occur. @5:50 pm

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I’m sick and I have no voice.  I had a fever on Tuesday night where my temperature shot through the roof.  On Wednesday, a sore throat decided to tag along.  I think my throat had a fight with my voice and on Thursday, my voice found itself homeless.  Technically now, I can’t talk at all.  When I try, a few words come out a little late and very very raspy.  I need my rest.  Thank God FLIP is over.  Only thing to distract me from my matters are bowling.  And that’s all I need now.  

I’m not being sarcastic.

Rainbows still Occur. @12:30 am

Upset? Disappointed?
Sunday, October 09, 2005

My stomach feels like it has a permanent knot in it.  Whenever I get this feeling, it makes me queasy and uncomfortable.  As if it’s telling me something.  Conscience maybe?  I highly doubt it.  More of like sixth sense.  However, I digress.  I don’t believe in that nonsense.  Deep down inside, I feel like I want to cry, but the tears won’t flow.  If I had the ability to make my choices again, I would have never given in to my feelings.  I wish that I had left it there.  Period.  Am I regretting?  A whole lot.  I kind of hate myself now.  

I will not elaborate.  Some of you may now.  That’s all the people that I feel needs to know.

Rainbows still Occur. @8:26 am

Brunswick Punisher
Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Brunswick Punisher.

My Dad has agreed! I'm going to get this hopefully tomorrow afternoon. Go down and purchase it and get it drilled. Yes! Finally! New ball!

Rainbows still Occur. @10:42 pm

Thoughts Running Through My Head

I act like I don't care. I say I don't care. I don't want to care. But in actual fact I still do. Why? Could someone tell me why? It's all part and parcel I guess. Tell me not to care, tell me to take my mind off the matter and stop mentioning it. It's just all the little things. Sometimes, words are barely spoken, and that worries me. In the end, it was just me thinking to much. No more astO. Keep your mind of it. And revert back to the person who doesn't look stress.

For the last time, I ain't stressed and I ain't have anything on my mind to say. Don't worry cause if I do, I will say it out. I'm not one person who can keep things that bother me to herself.

Okay, back to the competition, FLIP! *shakes head*

Rainbows still Occur. @1:00 pm

Zong's Birthday.
Monday, October 03, 2005

Happy Birthday Shao Zong!

Ok, this post is one day late. Haha.

Went down to training today.

Realised that it will be increased to 3-4 times a week.

More bowling = more practise.

Can only mean a good thing.

Went down to celebrate Zong's birthday at Suntec.

Me, Vickie, Nick, NaNa, Boon, Daryl and Gerard.

Bought him a cake and when to Sky Garden to celebrate and then dare him.

Which he did. Coolios man.

Then dinner (courtesy of our dear birthday boy) at Kenny Rogers.

Went to Bonsai Garden and Sky Garden (again) to talk a lot of other rubbish.

Me, NaNa, Nick, Gerard and Zong went onto ECP to chill further.

Zong sent us back after that.

Very nice of him to do so, though he was rushing.

Thanks mate! Appreciate it!

Ok, I want to go. And sleep.

Tomorrow still got FLIP to do.

*shakes head*

Rainbows still Occur. @1:10 am