You take me as I am
Into your new scarred hands
and when I run so far away
you always call me back again
into your open arms
not matter what ive done
amazing grace has found me here
because of what you've done, for me

PlanetShakers - Weight of the World

astO loves her friends, bowling, baking, bowling, reading, bowling, writing, bowling, ManUtd, bowling.

Kutless, The Lads, Switchfoot, MercyMe, Stacie Oricco, Avalon, blah blah blah

Birthday Month!
Wow.
Food.
Astoria Needs to Stop Spending.
BentoBoxes.
You know?
Another List.
Needful Things.
News
Food Thoughts.


March 2005
April 2005
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January 2007
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*Aaron
*Adrian
*Augustine
*Beatrice
*Charlene
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*Dana
*Daryl
*Gillian
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*Izk
*Jason (Hsien Xian)
*Jill
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*Nick
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*Sharon

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i'm feeling a little empty and lost at the moment. seems as if something's out of place, but then again, i think it's the by product of me thinking again. sooo, let me try to ignore it.

design review today, and hurhur, it didn't go well because i think my brief got rejected oh yet again. damn. i can think of so much more i could do with the time sketching and all, but i have to hold on for another 3 months and that's it. the reality beckons that i won't be able to get in tp again to do what my heart really wants to do which is culinary management. fees would rocket to sky high prices because student grant is only for three years. so this means, either try to get an apprenticeship orrr go to shatec. maybe this is why i'm feeling lost? maybe, maybe not.

like damn.

my mouth is itchy, i feel the need to chew on something, but i shall wait till closer to dinner. fun bowl tonight yet again, dad just keeps registering for me, not that i'm complaining but yeah. heh =) (somewhat still smiling... arghhh)

--
edited:
i need an oven soon. like very soon. so i can do up my stuff. i told john about it, and he asked be to ask boon hian to lend me the oven to take home, then he'll get it from his place for me. i replied saying, the oven is with the stove, you're not planning to take the entire thing for me right? and he went, oh yeah i forgot about that. -_- funny? ok, not funny...

and right, so it's my two hundred and fiftieth post.

asto, asto, what are you waiting for now? stop staring into space. get on with it already...

here in my nice enclave sketching my heart out, with butter paper all over my bed, after a day searching for the remains of my butter paper since year one. since my table has all my erm, important stationary and papers, i've been relegated to using a mobile side table and an a2 sized drafting board as my make shift table for the time being. because the paper on which my plans are on is of a1 size. riight. sketchy sketching. for tomorrow's design review which will last for two days. i don't understand why this round it's 2 days. doubtful any of my lecturers can understand what the heck i'm drawing. bless their cotton socks for trying to figure out.

i would love a latte now actually. or ben and jerry's marsha marsha marshmallow. just to keep me sane. cheers!

and erm, listening to third day now is swell. heh. okays, byes. *waves*

A few days ago, I mentioned about having a soundtrack to your lives. Haha. Well, I haven't been mulling over it but then I thought, heck, let's get going with it. Music was one of God's bestest creations ever. haha. And I mean it. I'm not going to explain why all of them are in my soundtrack, but then more may be added and some taken out. It just feels correct at the moment. Cheerios then... (",)

Ahhh well, so here it is...

You know, I'm supposed to be concentrating on my FYP (final year project for those who don't know) but then, all I have in my head currently is showpieces for Christmas. I'm becoming more and more sure that pâtisserie is going to be my life. I love the feeling of thinking about the best way to present cakes and biscuits, and I love to do chocolates (though it's been about a year since I last did it). Though my works run along the line of conventional, I really do wish that one day I'll be able to break out of the mould (no pun intended, heh) and be a really famous pâtisser. I just want to bake and create cakes, biscuits and chocolates for the rest of my life. That would make me a very happy girl.

Oh, and I wrote a christmas song today. Wheeeeee.

"I can be free
I can be free from this place
Beautiful healer
Beautiful grace
Help me to see
Everything fall into place
Wake me from dreaming
No more deceiving
Break these chains"

Having gastrics suck. Big time. No matter how much I eat, I still get it. Not saying that I've been eating a lot. I've actually been eating half of my meals rather than the whole, because I just can't finish it. I can't even eat a bowl of instant noodles finish! So maybe that's why. Stomach's empty but I'm not hungry at all. So yeah.

This sucks.

"So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave "

I was just hopping round the web here, searching for Corrinne May's music and I happened to chanced upon this site, gentlewhisper.com and it mentioned something about soundtracks. How each person has a soundtrack to their lives. Well, certain songs would definitely be on mine, but then again, it'll extend to a 2 maybe even a 3 CD compilation.

So, I shall sort this out tomorrow, the soundtrack of my life. The last 19 years of my life with many more years (God willing) to come. And to this blog, shall I post the track list. Though I have more pressing things to do like my Finals, but I shall worry about that later.

Won't you think about yours as well?

Goodnight folks.

I'm thinking about showpieces for Christmas. A nice woodcutter's cottage or a nativity scene would be a nice present. Baked of course by your's truly. Godma would definately get it, as she gets one from me every year. Last year she got a christmas tree made out of Valrhona dark chocolate done by your's truly. haha. This year if there's time, a few of my mates families will get it.

But I'm still thinking so nothing's concrete. I need a new oven anyway. A Miele would do nicely. Or an Ariston or Idesit. I'm not too particular as long as it's a professional, fully digital one. heh.

WISHFUL THINKING!

Returned home to find some disturbing news on MSN. A friend private messaged me about some going ons lately about some people who he, thought were friends and how he was being treated. I could tell he was very hurt, and it was not only him. Another person was involved as well. Seriously, I can't believe how thoughtless some people are and how again, words hurt people very badly. It's a myth when they said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Don't anyone realise that life and death is in the power of the tongue? I mentioned it once before to that friend, please take into consideration others people's feelings. But now I reckon, it has fallen on deaf ears. This issue may cost quite a bit, losing certain stuff.

To whoever you think this may concern. Please don't bother anymore. It pointless to hold on for anything if this continues. You're not plan B. You've other friends like me and *hem hem*. I just mentioned it to you.

To the other. Up to you if you think it concerns you. You've changed a lot, where's was the friend we all once used to know? Hopefully you'll find your way back if not, I guess, what you reap is what you will sow. It will come back to you.

I finally went back bowling after a week long break. And I sucked in the beginning. As in seriously. Then I decided to take off my Mec and try to bowl. Hah. The bowling ball can hook without the Mec! I was surprised, Coach was right! And *drum rolls* I beat my dad 3 games in a row again; first by 1 pin, then 2 pins, then hurhur 40 pinfalls. haha. Fun. Maybe I shall just bowl without the guard... hmm.

I'm still trying to think of lyrics to a tune I got. Finding it a little hard. I have all these rough papers on my table with little anecdotes and stanzas and yet nothing fits. Never mind, I'll try some more and see what I can get.

Time for me to hit the sacks. Cheers.

I realised I've always loved hymns, the timeless lyrics that still ring true today. Even the way I write lyrics, it's the same, it has very old-time flavour. But I like it, because it's a part of me that's exposed; raw and vunerable and there's no need for me to hide.

This is my favourite now, the rendition that Avalon did, made me fall in love with the song. In Christ Alone.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my
strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights
of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when
strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

Yesterday, or rather the day before yesterday was the day or reckoning. hah. I'll post more about it when I actually feel like typing a long entry. Or you can go to Marian's blog and read what she wrote there because in some way, I feel the same.

I went to shoot photos in town today with Augustine. One seriously hilarious thing happened when we were at the stage door of Victoria Concert Hall. 4 cones; 3 orange ones and 1 green one, were placed there to prevent cars from parking in front of the stage door. Gus came up to me and pointed to the orange one and asked me whether it was orange or slightly pinkish (yes, he's slightly colourblind). And I said yes, it's orange. And he went, "I CAN SEE THE F**KING GREEN!" My gawd, I tell you, I was laughing. Because when he asked me about the colour, he was being very serious. I thought something was wrong. And that kind of answer came out. Flabbergasted.

Ok, I'm tired. I want to knock out. Goodnight world.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

To my title, I was going to add "and in health". haha.

I haven't been to school for the pass 4 days, since I'm down with high fever, the flu and the cough. What a time to be sick. As in seriously. Annoying really, when you're on the lanes (or off), sniffling and coughing. So I'm going to stay home tomorrow again. Because right now, all that's important for me is the Pol-Ite games.

IP is like in a day. I pray I'll do well, just to make God proud. That's all I ask.

My voice is going to go soon. The throat's very sore. It's worrying because I'll be unable to shout on Saturday. And at the same time I cannot sing. I'll be so bored. Argh.

Help Mr Strepsils and Mr Woods.

It's not mine. I don't want it to be mine. I don't want to mind. But why do I do? It is so hard not to mind, when it is you indirectly and unconsciously being ____ ___ (fill in the blanks). Key words being gravitation, attention and erm, back-up plan.

That's all.

Avalon - Where Joy and Sorrow Meet.
There’s a place of quiet stillness ‘tween the light and shadows reach
Where the hurting and the hopeless seek everlasting peace
Words of men and songs of angels whisper comfort bittersweet
Mending grief and life eternal where joy and sorrow meet

There is a place where hope remains
In crowns of thorns and crimson stains
And tears that fall on Jesus’ feet
Where joy and sorrow meet

There’s a place the lost surrender and the weary will retreat
Full of grace and mercy tender in times of unbelief
For the wounded there is healing, strength is given to the weak
Broken hearts find love redeeming where joy and sorrow meet

There’s a place of thirst and hunger where the roots of faith grow deep
And there is rain and rolling thunder when the road is rough and steep
There is hope in desperation there is victory in defeat
At the cross of restoration where joy and sorrow meet